Some preview of future plans....

Well today my daughter and I went to cape may point to see about the wedding plans. Nick & Rob where into it too. We went and looked at the reception place ( Union Hall) built in 1914 it is unbelievable. Well we all agreeded on the reception April 16th (sunday) 2007. The plans so far are Susan my maid of honor and I will be picked up at the homestead and take a horse and carriage about 3/4 a mile down beach blv.. to sunset beach it is a location that is three sided by ocean with the capemay lighthouse in the distance , and when we arrive she will walk me up on the beach to Rob ( a friend of ours is going to play the violin during the beach walk and then she will hand me off to Rob ) white chairs lined on the beach beach sand runner to the rocks that are surround by ocean. After the cermony Rob & I will take the horse and carriage back to the historic resort and have the reception we are holding ten rooms and one bridal suite that is located on the three story over looking the ocean the next morning we are having a wedding breakfast and a Beach meeting have to included soberity wouldn't have been able to plan all this without it. Then Rob & I hopefully are going away for four days or so.. I pray everything goes right Gods will. what a fairy tale but reality...  These pictures where taken today before we over loaded on Food and passed out back at our house...  What a dream the only difference is it is coming true...   Love you all God Bless Gail jersey shore girl..

jugements

Judgement that is something I use to do when I drank. Sitting there and judging people because or there control on drinking or juding them by the way they dressed or acted I always thought they where better then me, but I would never say that OUT LOUD. I see it now in different ways people judging people.Like I said in my passed entry the people that I thought would be happy for me now moving on with my life sober and working on life problems One day at a time and making it thur the hurt and pain of soberity, and not only mine but Robs he has 10 years coming up I had to remember he is sick too and our relationship took work. My family and people on the outside seen the hurt and pain at times and just like the people we hurt when we where drinking they don't forget, but one thing they don't keep into play is that I HAVR A PROGRAM todayand I'm going thur my ups and downs sober. I never was married, engaged, had kids, did I ever do sober now I'm moving on with my life and it is about time reguardless of what other people think. I'm going to be married sober and we are too old for kids so we can jump right into the fun and no pressures of bearing children we already did that. I'm entering a union sober it is different then any other time. I've been married before and failed with my drunkness but God had other plans for my future that was out of my control thanks be to him. So I just have to keep in mind not everyone will be happy for us but my live is going to go on. With AA-God and working together and with others we will be a unstoppable couple and we know how to work out the corks now it took time but then time does stand for THIS I MUST EARN...   Looks like I'll have a small attendence at our wedding but the people that are suppost to be there WILL With love and prayers Gail the jersey shore girl....

what a beautiful day.

Rob & I

Nice picture my daughters wine bottle is in the way... hahah

reactions

Boy you really find out who your friends are when you have surprising news. I had some good friends that had tears of happiness for Rob & I and then there where friends that where just down right ignorent, I was told along time ago that not all people like to see people make it. That some people get jealous or just want to cause a whirl wind when people make it thur hard times and come out on top. Rob & I worked hard on this relationship and neither one of us gave up and came thur it boy there are people out there that are just not happy for anyone because they just don't see the whole picture. I know that God works in both our lives and he wouldn't steer us wrong or make it EASY to pick the right road it took time and work. TIME= This I Must Earn..... and we earned it.It's funny how the true colors of people come out and what is even more funny is that I just pray for them today instead of cursing them. That God that old Gail is dead but can come back at anytime with a drink or no program. Boy meets Girl in AA Girl meets boy what a nice meeting place you could even remember eachothers name and what you did. hahaha....   The values I have for my own self has changed I have limits today and dreams and when they said Live is beyond my wildess dreams I thought they where all on something and in time I would find out what it was . But all it was, was good people, a program of recovery, and a faith to jump into the void and have trust in God today...   The gifts are priceless and so are the people.. (most of them) we are all still human so you still have one in every crowd but few and far between.. Till next time Love yeahs Gail Jersey Shore Girl

Sunsets are forever

This Sunset is a painted picture from God... Rob and I (my other half) love to go and watch the sunsets thats one thing we try to make time for, And the sunsets really came to play in this week. We went to dinner with my daughter and my wonderful future son on law Nick on Sunday night it was great. We went to a tribute dinner show for Frank Siniatra the guy we really good. In the middle of the show the singer stopped and said we have a special guest here tonite and then it all started Rob requested a song for me to be sung and when the song was over Rob stood up and said : Gail you know all those Sunsets we love would you do me the honor to spend the rest of those sunsets together with me?: Then he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him and God WHAT A RING I was shocked.
Even thou I've been married before I have need had ANYONE propose to me before it was so funny I was in shock and my daughter sat there crying saying yes. hahahahaa... It was wonderful just another great gift of soberity. Rob and I have made it thou the Good the Bad The ugly and the evil so there isn't much more, but we stayed together and worked it out pain is the touch tone to growth well we grew strong together, I know there are people out there that aren't going to be happy with this all the negitivty but for once I have control of my life and i'm SOBER and a child of God The rewards are just amazing thats something I thought I would never say. We are shooting for a FEB or April 2007 small wedding and to our amazment the first place that was just striking happens to be acho..... free BYOB only wine and beer is wished but no one drinks that I know of so no bar fee..  I'm happy  well more will be realed as time goes on this ring is soooooo beautiful now I know where all the money went and it is time to save now,,,  Rob did a great job and I'm so proud of him no one has ever done this like this for me...   God Bless you all Gail Jersey Shore Girl

After all, the only time that we truly have is the time we find in the present moment. The NOW is the only place that life really takes place!

A god giving day.

Times of quiet doesn't happen that much where I sit down and enjoy them. but today I am!! I had a rough weekend, I was on antidepressives for 12 years and I finally went to the herb & vitimin store and replaced my perscription with a healthier verision. This is only what I did for ME only not recommended. I stopped taking the Zololf the doctor was giving me she kept uping it and I felt worse and worse, DEPRESSED ...  Well let me tell you my experience I went thur a 4 day withdraw of feeling sick mentally and physically and now finally I'm feeling so much better.  I kinda leaped out into the void which can be dangerous but I've been on these kinds of medicines for 12 years and drank with them and took them when I got sober now I have to find out for me what I'm really about so far not bad just for the first 4-5 days. This is not recommended This is something I did ......    Alot of people need medicine and if I swing back the other way in time I will consider going back on it but I feel better everyday so far.. One Day At A time. I just got so tired of the doctors having a pill for everything, I just can't do that today.... I drank to bring me up or down, to sleep or function now I have to reley on God and the program and MYSELF for once..   Till later Happy to be alive today,,, God bless you and yours.. Love gail the jersey shore girl/

dream

Well it is Full Moon and I started a new herbal aproach to health care and PMS what a combo. hahaha. Thank God I'm sober. My body and mind seems to be changing again growing pains at 44 lol. The dreams of the past haven't haunted me in awhile but they are back. dreams of the kids Ex-husband and his new wife and the hopeless feeling. Thank God when I wake up it is a dream and I just tell myself that. This time of year with the weather change and cold beaches it is so seasonal depressive. I have been really struggling with seperation aniexty trying to stick to the tough love problem with my son anthony IT IS HARD.. Thank God for sponsors, what a rare breed they can be. Mine is great. God did put the right one in my path. Well Right now I'm powerless over the changes that are happening to me. More shall be revealed. Love you all till next time Jersey shore (cold) girl . Gail God Bless..

Three Years & going

Well three years and going. I started to write in this journal yesterday but I just had to come back to it. Friday night I spoke and boy everytime I speak its like a newer fuller life verion is said. My day started out get and then I came home ate some strawberry pancakes and turned into a mistery bitch just quiet and isolated ( my mood just switched) I reminded myself to be grateful. I just don't like attention on me I like to give attention not receive it alot but people where just being caring. Every year feels different almost like a death to me the pain just gets easier. My daughter had her engagement party the other day and with the mix of people there I really didn't know how everything was going to work out but it all went fine. I'm so happy for her and Nick is a great guy. My ex-husband and his new wife didn't show up and Jennifer was very upset that the man that raised her didn't come "he was sick at the last min..." But I reasured her that the people that where suppost to be there was. She was hurt and it just brought back some memories of how sick I was and how it made  everyone around me sick he is really sick (emotionally) a new wife can't even take care of that. He got what he left but with alot more money. Sometimes it still hurts but I have a great person in my life too now and we go thur the ups and downs together and we both work hard, I just have to remember he has a program too he is 10 years sober and still a sick pup at time hahahaa... but it all works. Its just strange how the roller coaster affect goes up & down every anniversy is so different The first one I loved all the attention the second one was 1/2 1/2 and this year I was proud but it is just a way of life for me and I find more pleasure putiing attention on someone that reminds me of what I felt like and the thing I went thur.. Theres this women she has 4 months sober she is a doll and I love to here her talk I relate so much to her and what she is going thur, she is the special one ( she just has that light about her) I'm very proud of her.. (maryann)..  I'm grateful today for being alive and to see my children grow my middle son anthony is on my tough love program and you know it is easier this time I guess its just like drinking I have had enough bull shit . He is on his own somewhere, He told me two months ago I was going to be a grandmother I had mixed emotions but excited to and at my daughter partyhe told me no more grandmom they aborted the baby and he was so against that but I had to just say a prayer and let it go, years back I still would have been drunk over that so I see progress not perfection here. haha... Well until later I love you all & your in my prayers.. Love Gail Jersey shore girl

today is three years wow....