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Monday, August 22, 2011

Aug, 22

Happy 70th BD Dad RIP..  Died when he was 44.... Drinker,smoker,sad to young.

Changes (Forever or Not)

I don't know what is going on with me. I have a flood feelings and emotions but don't know how to get a handle on them. Life is trying yes "BUT" why is it so hard? I feel for so many people but have a hard time feeling for myself. I try it is exhausting, I'll have plans wonderful fantasies of how I want my day to be, or end up and in my mind I try so hard to relax and let go that I'm exhausted. Memories of caring for my Mom haunts me at time and I think my way thur it. One of the blessing I have is I don't want to drink. I have worked alone, stayed alone, and  find myself just being so peaceful but lost at the same time. ( Does that make sense?) I pray for God to help me identify myself . I have Love, Trust,  Respect in my life I just want to be able to return those feelings, the way I dream of in my head. I'm I going crazy or is this just another process of loss?
Opinions Welcomed.....
Till Later with Love, Light & Joy, Jersey Shore Girl.....