The days without the Wine and Roses.

It is so amazing how things seem to come in a total learning cycle. People always told me, God knows what is right for you and when it is to be presented. My life has really come along way. Made major changes. And I've never been happier in my life. It took allot of pain and learning, time and patience's which is hard for any of us.
The days today WITHOUT the wine and roses mean so much more then they did almost seven years ago. I thought love was something that only other people had. Trust was something that was a figment of my imagination.
Today Trust, Love, and true kinship is the working power of time. So many times I wanted to give up hope, just check in the days and get the roses the wrong way. Today I thank God for introducing me to me. For saving my life to have a better and healthier one. To see the beauty in Gods wonders all around me. Thank God for my soberity and the feeling I get heart and soul, for each day today.
Today if I'm nothing else I'm grateful for each breath, sight and heart beat I get to feel and see.
Until later with Love. The Jersey Shore Girl. God Bless
Gail

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Shhh, stop and listen to all the new, old, and overlooked. This is all NEW to me. I learn from you, I also teach at a very early age. I know Peace, love & joy and I'm here for a reason! Two teach you from the beginning.

Though Sobriety I've been Thur my Great, Wonderful, Happy times. I also been Thur a Divorce of a man I loved very much and always will as a father to my Son we have a good relationship today.

I shared great love with a man in sobriety.This passed year has been the hardiest. The passed 8 months have been Heartbreaking to watch the man I love just float away. But in the same sense it has been a eye opener to dig deep and find that Love in myself, What a scary place, it hurt very very bad... Spiritual, Emotional, and Physically in some senses. I learned to Love ENOUGH to let love find me.. I know what peace, Love & Joy feels like..... I have it every morning with the teacher haha. The only thing that really saddens me is that what a gift to share with the people you love, let alone the person you fell in love with. My future is going to hold allot of love in it. ( From with in and from ? ) I pray everyday for all my friends, I pray for Robs Mom I love her so much and she won't be here much longer. In Gods time everyone will feel the peace and joy of life and fulfillment.

Well until Now I'm going to keep telling myself everything is happening for a reason, always have hope and love not resentments and torment. Better to love and to forgive then to have never had the opportunity.

Please keep me in your prayers, God helps... Until Later Jersey Shore Girl Gail,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

The eye

When I came in the program I was Bankrupted, Literary. Mentally, Physically, just dead. But in the years of being here God placed wonderful people in my life. For me today it's not about drinking or even fantasizing the attention and fake love of so called friends. I have true friends and that is a gift. After a while when the drink doesn't seem to be the problem, well then for me it's growing pains. Pains that go all the way to THE EYE of my core. 

Things that I have repressed for years, even life times it feels like. I understand now a little more on why I react the way I do. My emotions have been so crazy,,,  Hurt, Love, Wonder, etc.  Even thou I haven't drank in some time I still remember that gut wreaking pain of waking up the next day and saying WHY. I know why now God loves me, I may spend allot time alone right now, but I pray allot alone all day. I know what Love feels like and it is missed. God has a plan, I tell myself that everyday and I will until I totally believe it. In my heart I believe. Fear, sorrow, loss will equal light and love in the long run. The growing pains never stop, If you have One day or many years. All really have is the Here and NOW! 

With Love Gail jersey shore girl.

Prayer Helps.

I had a experience the other night for God to take that gut wrenching pain away. The feeling of loss, grieving and all that goes with heart ache. I prayed :

Please God take this pain from me.
Help me to continue to become a whole women again.
Let me not forget the Deep Love I felt.
For it is God that allowed me to share this world with all. And it is for his gifts that I see in sobriety, I'm still here on his journey! Love endures sacrifice for me... But you never know what God has in my future. Thank God it's not about the drink today that gets into my head !!!!!! Unconditional Love my animals have for me is something humans should really practice daily to make this a better world all around.

Waiting for the Thaw /// Gail jersey shore girl

Mind Wind

Over Six years ago I stood helpless. (In Body & Mind ). I thank God everyday for MY second chance. Within this time Learning to connect with people again has been a journey for me. I'm so grateful to the program of AA for the people that have came in my life ,made a difference and continued on there own journey and SOME# just became apart of my New Life! The one thing I would here allot "Was after the first five years you reach a point where it's not about the Drink anymore". It's about how to overcome the fears,pains & The wind like thoughts that go Thur your head. The fear "CAN I " and then you tell yourself "You know you can". I have found a amazing source,canal, whatever it maybe, it is a way for me to try to calm those winds that blow Thur they really hurt sometime. In Sobriety I have learned now what it is like to have a core, the same core I would cover up with drinking or whatever. To cover the pain of Love Hurt Pressure Kids Etc.............................. especially after 8-9 Pm. when I drank those nights off from work would drive me crazy " Until I had a couple @ home and went out. Now I'm at a place where 9pm. I would love to just watch a show, Read, share a moment, touch. The winds that blow thur now are of Peace Love & Joy. The winds do have there own current "God and the universe in large" I have to depend on that source Just for today, just for the passing Mind Winds...

With all Light,Love God Bless The jersey shore girl-- Galewinds lol

Mind Wind

Mind Wind

COME ON SUMMER!!!!!

What does love look like?

The Art of Love what does it look like? Thinking back as far as I can I know I was shown love but the feeling remembered most is Wanting Love. When I think of Love as a young women I think of the beautiful things that God has allowed me too experience. The gifts of living sometimes are hard to remember when a hard time hits. Growing up and being a child of a alcoholic home and being one myself uses my tools against me sometimes. Have to keep corrected.
I'm a natural care taker, I see the good in all and in some I see the "good" God given person. The tools in AA teach me to not drink One Day At A Time. The program also showed me many feeling that I never felt sober until now. Love, Being One with another, also hurts and misplacement in my own soul.
I can recognize my Heart & Core of my body now and it's missing a beat.

" O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoles, as to console; to be loved as to love; for it is in giving that we pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to exeral life.

Love is a beautiful special moment or time that God has so gracefully showed me.

After the dark comes light.

God Bless Gail

Up Close & Personal

When my eyes are open I can see the LIGHT.
When my ears are open I can hear the untold WORDS>
With the divine energy that is carried though out the small time and space that we do have, Let us soak in the love & warmth of comfort.

By: Gail

Ice Kaying

Vote for my photo in the simply cute photo contest!

Vote for my photo in the simply cute photo contest!

Vote for my photo in the simply cute photo contest!

Vote for my photo in the simply cute photo contest!

Stillness

If only we could learn from nature, "Be Still' for we are in a freeze and this too shall pass. I found for me this transition isn't easy. It's not about putting the drink down it's protecting the person I know I Am. Feelings, Emotion's, Love and hurt that's a big lesson but not always learned the first time.The connection with some people are amazing and to be re-connected with people you love and love you for you is a gift . The love I have found in the pass few plus years and to see what it is today I just pray. I'm opening my eyes again to see Gods beauty and to say thank you. I have to turn my love inward and love myself for the honest, loyal, trusting person that I am.
And someday have a person in my life with the same values. I hurt, I'm confused but One Day At A time..... I will continue to be a winner because I hang with the winners.
Till Later Light/ love Jersey Shore Girl... gail

The Core

You know that pain from a tooth ache? Sometimes it can hurt to the core and you beg for help. You start to feel better and it's at the bottom of your list again, but still though of.
Well when i hit my bottom it was some-like that. Well now into the sixth year but who is counting ( I have a day at a time ) most day's I try. It is the emotional part. Fear, restless,like total surrender jumping into the void. What's on the other side only God knows. I have to count the blessings in my life and protect myself emotionally for what I have or may have left. I've been going to Al non and it seems to be helping, with restraint of pen and tongue. Heart and Soul is a totally different chapter. The Weller you get, the weller the people around you get!!!! Someone dear told me that along time ago. I NEVER FORGOT IT. It's true. Well till later Light and Love, Jersey Shore Girl Gail

Ho Ho Ho first Christmas 2009 Angelina 4 months

Wheres my Spiritual Path?

Where did it go, Spiritual ........ It has been a hell of a year. SO GLAD 2010 is here. I'm really tiring.
I've been though some growth that just Physical, Mentally, Emotional, bankrupted me. I really feel scared to death. One great thing is I didn't want to drink. It took me so long to let some things go of my past that it really stood in the way of my future. I have to reminded myself that GOD is in charge and he never let me down, it was just the opposite I let him down but he FORGAVE me unconditionally. What a gift. I have to leave Rob in Gods hands. Man I thought I would ever Hurt or should I say Love that deeply again like I do Rob. I know the real man.
My son Anthony Brittany and the baby still live here with me. I wish for them there own place. They where God sent this Holiday season this was the first Christmas and New Years I spent without Rob. I did promise when we moved in this house it would only be us, But things come up and when Family needs Family ( My Granddaughter ) Can someone please tell me how to just rip it off like a bandage and get on?????? God wills not mine be done!!!! Prayer helps and works!!!