I was going Thur some pictures trying to put a album together. It dawned on me that Love is very important in Family but there is so much more. My kids are growing up so fast they are all almost of age now. I realized that I can Love all I want but what makes a strong relationship is Honesty, Time, and to listen just like when I got sober I had to listen. By listening I've learned so much about the different personalities my children possess. When I was drinking and a wife and mother of three I listened most to those little voices in my head that told me { get the kids together, Feed them, Make sure you vacuumed so the house looks good, cook something and at the end of the day when everything was done look for a excuse and go drinking just to wake up feeling like shit with a short temper and just going Thur the motions.} What a dead life I had for me and my family that was totally innocent. What a powerful disease.
I was talking to my youngest son before and telling him I went to the doctors today and she said my Blood pressure was great and everything looks good and he asked: Didn't you always have a uncontrolled problem with your blood pressure and I told him yes I did because I was drinking and The night before I went to the doctor back then I would try not to drink and then double up on my meds to get Thur the visit without a trip to the hospital. {EVEN DOING THAT i WAS ALWAYS AT STROKE LEVEL} but not today. The power of time is amazing and the little voices still once in a while talk to me and ask me " why not just one?" but I know today it is the evil trying to get me back to that dead shell of a person WAS. Today when listening to people or the kids I can tell if something is wrong, I can hear pain, happiness,joy,& excitement Thats something That drinking took away from me at the age of 44 I'm really learning what life is all about and boy I never thought i would make it Thur my California days and the 20's drinking & in my 30's being insane but you know I did and people listened to me and told me Gail we will love you till you love yourself and you know what they did and I now tell people the same thing. Watching the transformation in people lost souls coming alive again is a gift . A gift from God and the program of AA . Think Think Think also comes with Listen Listen Listen.. Never give up hope !!!!!! Love you all Gail ( the jersey shore girl)..
2 comments:
Thought I'd drop by and see if you've been updating. Haven't been getting any of your notify's..... that is if you've been sending them out. Seems AOL has been messing up again, and readers aren't getting the notify of updates at journals.
Isn't it strange that no matter how many years go by we never forget those torturous years of living in the bottle. I don't ever wanna forget, to forget is to make out like it was nothing. Like it's worth forgetting. To me living in the bottle is as fresh as if it were yesterday. I guess it's because of all the pain caused by my drinking, that makes it a part of my life I never wanna forget. To forget would be like it never happened. What's that saying your only a sip away from living in the bottle AGAIN.
I find strength in knowing that all the people who stuck by me because of Love for me, are still by my side. Heck, I hated me back then, but they stuck with me. I treated my loved ones and friends like dirt. Ripped them to shreds and they still didn't desert me. I owe them and myself a better me. So to remember all those bad insane living in the bottle years, is what helps me stay strong and sober.
I've thought about writing down all those memories in a journal here at AOL. I lived it and it's a part of me. Good or bad those years made me the person I'am today. Hey! it might be good therapy..ha.ha Or it might just help someone who's just started up residency in a bottle and still can get out, before the hell begins.
WOW! I sure do rattle on an on :) Better shut up before aol cuts this off. Hope all is well at the Jersey Shore.
Hi Mom, I’m hosting a “carnival” on alcohol and relationships on March 30. Do you think you have a story for me? Any relationship is fine. The post can be old or new, but it should be on your blog somewhere. You’d have to go to the following link knowing your permanent link to that post.
You or anyone you know who wants to help me in this psycho-education thing can go to http://blogcarnival.com/bc/submit_1255.html
If you have any trouble with the form, write me at therapydoc@gmail.com and I'll walk you through it.
I mean, after all, what's alcohol got to do with relationships, anyway, right?
Thanks, Linda
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