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Thursday, February 15, 2007

Two of the deadly evil's

Well tonite at the meeting they asked for topics" I brought up self-esteem & pride. Two of my evils. I have had a rough couple of weeks just with a combo of stuff and my pride tell me " Gail just do everything yourself" well thinking about that reminded me when I went on False self-esteem that alcohol gave me  " that I was greater then  anything" when really I was as sick as they came with alcohol. My pride told me it was ok to be sick because to me the abnormal became normal . Well I pray everyday thous days are gone, and so far so good. I have to make sure I make the meetings because I can get caught up in life and with the constance changes which are normal to life sometimes to a alcoholic changes is all it takes to set your head spinning in all direction. Like I always remind myself " the question" " Is it resentments in life I ponder or is it re sensing the past that  bothers me?  Reflections on the past can haunt me, I'm trying to make amends . But sometimes I just don't know how to start. So the start I'm going to continue is staying SOBER and the rest will follow. I loved seeing my Son Karl today I'm so proud of him, that kid really holds himself up he always did. But we all weaken sometimes and thats OK sometimes a weakness has made me MUCH stronger in my path of life and the most pain stake times have allowed me to lower my pride and ask for Help when I most need it Thank you  God..  So for me Pride is good & important but it can also be MY silence killer. Till next time God bless goodnite, Love Gail (jersey shore girl) :>

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