Remember When!!!!

Remember when life was so easy. All you had to do is clean your room come home at a certain time and listen to your parents? It seems like so many life times ago. Life has changed so much in the years. I remember when I had my first child and I was scared I would look at her and just think how she came out of me. Was I worthy of that? I always had the doubts of what I deserved. I remember feeling love for someone real love for the first time I didn't even realize it until alcohol took that all away. so many times I should have been dead either under the influence or just in crazy places. Traveling across country when I was young with no direction of where I was going. Now I'm older and forget about those times sometimes but I have to remember because those experiences had me what I am today. This time of year still is hard at times remembering the things I did with the kids and my ex-husband around the holidays, stringing pop corn and eating most of it, the thousands of lights we put up until the breaker blew, and always ending up drinking and passing out after the kids went to bed. I wonder what it would have been like sober? i never got that chance. But what I do have now is Three wonderful kids that love there mother and know today I will be there in a moments notice thats something they couldn't count on in the past. I would always be there for them but in my own alcoholic time. I know staying sober has been the best amends's I could have ever made to my Family and children but most important to God and myself. I think for me remembering is good as long as I don't rest on it and like it take up to much space in my head. I'm forever grateful for the gift God has gave me.
Till next time ( Remember ) Love the jersey shore girl.... Gail :}