Being Thankful

I have to remember that even thou some crazy stuff has passed in the pass months I have to be Thankful that I'm able to live the way I do. I just came off a three week work binge and I helped my daughter move into there new home. It is beautiful.. I'm so happy for them and at the same time I'm missing the house I use to have. Back then it was a family project to decorate the house. The lights grew every year we could be seem at the moon hahahaa. My ex-husband would make something crazy and new and we bought more extention cords as the years went on. On Christams Eve everyone came for dinner all family and friends ( open house) I loved to cook for days and entertain. But drinking was always a part of that. I don't miss the embarassing times with the drinking or the horrible feeling the day after wondering what time did everyone leave did I pass out at the table? did I fight with my husband. I hate to think of all I did. and how I would do it now. I really ache for my own house again big enough to have family and friends come over. This year my son has to spend some time in jail for the stuff he did in soberity, just doing the same stuff expecting different results I have such a hurt in my heart for this kid. He really is a good soul thats lost. I told him I don't care how long he is away I will keep the tree up until he comes home to have Christmas. I have so much to be grateful for but I feel so lonely and empty sometimes. I live at the shore and love it, this is the time of the year when everyone is gone and some come to visit at holidays. This is a place filled with big beautiful homes that are empty. ( what a shame). I am grateful no madder how I feel to be sober. I still have issues with iosolation when I get like this. I know today i will go to a couple of meetings and spend time with family. I'm trying so hard to move forward with a healthy way of living with my other half and sometimes it is so confusing and I lack tolerence. My prayer for today is :
God,
Thank you for the gifts you give me everyday without a drink or drug.
Thank you for the beach to walk on and the roof over my head instead of a cold grave.
Thank you for the gift of children where some people don't have them and never will.
Thank you for the gift of being just who I am and not anyone else.
Please guide me to be the best person I can be just to today.
Please let me love better then to be loved.
Please let me see thur your eyes and follow your footsteps.
Please help me to just stay in today and move on to tomarrow when I day comes.
Thank you God.
Well until later Happy Thanks giving.
Love the jersey shore girl
Gail