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Saturday, November 12, 2005

long days

Well what a weekend so far. My son got himself in soooo much trouble and is on the run right now, it is so hard as a parent to handle or disconnect yourself from this sort of mess. I can't say the thought of drinking or knocking myself out didn't inter my mind, but when it did it just made my sick to think i would have to start all over again and I probly won't make it back this time. I just wanted to be sedated feel nothing but instead I'm writing and keeping myself busy, It is something how that bond with your child can drive you crazy even when there are no where near you I feel such a pull of energy coming out of me, it is draning. I'm going to a meeting tonite I need to be around people that understand my mind set. The people my son was involved with are not nice people and we are handling the overflow from that. Thank God that I have true friends today and not my drinking friends, I can do thing honestly now and head on even thou it sucks sometimes but I have a life of reality now. Well it's been alittle over two years sober for me and even I can't believe it sometimes but if I wasn't I would have been dead along time ago.. God must have a purpose for me still Well hope everyone out there is happy and safe God Bless, Talk to you guys later ,
Gail (jersey shore area )

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