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Sunday, November 13, 2005

Blue Skys and Dark thoughts:

Well it took me some time but I cleaned my sons room out I feel like he died , having a child in trouble and seeing the signs of what he is doing is scarey, I've been there and done that. I can't stand when everyone tells you I told you so.. and want to comfort me to tell you the truth I need to deal with this in my own way and time. I have alot of friends in the program that understand that and they do just what they are to do check up and give space..  My head is spinning I have to tell myself that I too am sick and have to take care of me, I fall into the taking and worring about everyone else first for to long. It seems when I started looking and taking care of myself it just caused problems and anger in some. Well thanks to AA I know today when I'm falling apart and when to get off my ass and do something about it. People say I'm to nice and hard at the same time but that is me. I would always give my shirt off my back for anyone. I'm toilinng with Relationship issues and family issues and it is so hard to get lost in all of it. I'm trying to find my way back and sometimes the people you love don't understand what your doing, when I don't know what to do I do nothing but I'm peicing it out and staying sober. Reality really sucks sometimes and living in my own world is old shit so I must get on the ball now...   Till later---  Gail

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