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Tuesday, September 6, 2005

I'm Back need to start writing Part Two

Well it's been awhile sense I have written, I really need to get back into it.
I'll be coming up on Two years sober soon Oct. 1st what a road to travel.
Newly paved but bumpy at times.
Alot has changed in my life sense i started this, I feel like I've had so may life times. I work in a ICU unit at a hospital and the job is really rewarding being able to help people but at 43 I still don't know exactly what I want.
I'm living with someone now and it has its moments  just dealing with another person at times but I love him he is a great man. My son has come Far in the past 4 months or so he really had to test the waters and I had to stick to TOUGH LOVE which is heart beating when you love someone that much. My children I love more then life I look at them and think they grew in me and they are a part of my being, but all three being sooooooooo different. My husband Well I'm still in a middle of a divorice its like I married a stranger.I still go to meeting but have to step it up some, I'm slowing down for the summer when it comes to work and I get VERY nervous worried and stressed about money but I have to remember the God will provided in those times of need not want. The lessoms that I'm learning about life keep flooding in still everyday but I started froma DEAD shell of a person, Homeless, Penniless, and very sick ( dealth knocked on my door but Faith was there) Thank God I thank he every moment of the day. The first year of soberity was such a different type of pain and mentally tiring, the second year is like a bad dream some times just days floating into eachother. I explain my feeeling at times and people look at me like I'm a nut but ALOT of people know just what I'm talking about.People tell me I'm beautiful all the time but I still see that plane simply sick person in the mirrow most of the time, I'm just tired need a break and some new conversation. I work so hard but just manage to keep my head above water, I have to stop letting the material type people get under my skin. My kids are getting older and that is a depression all in itself but reality sometimes thats the hardest to face (reality). Still to this day I don't know what day or year I walked out on my family but I know today I have the love from my Daughter which is God sent in my eyes and my Sons. I don't see my youngest son that much anymore but the material world has tempority ate him up, ( I miss him) my baby . I have so much in my head latley most of it is unexplainable at this point to even put down on paper still working though it. Well I work grave shift and have to get ready until next time, May the best day of your PAST be the worst day of your FUTURE..
Signed Gail ( From the Jersey Shore )

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

hey nice blog. I'm 37 days today. I keep watching the displaced citizens of NO and thinking "there but the Grace of God". I feel so bad for them, yet it really has helped me to stay busy with service work.

Good luck to you, I'll check in again. Glad your here.

Anonymous said...

Holy mackerel, you're still here!!  I started blogging a day or two before your last post in December, and bookmarked your site.  I check in every month or two, and now here you are!!  I'm so happy to know you are still sober.  I can tell life is not easy for you, but I can see so many blessings have come your way.  They tell me it keeps getting "gooder and gooder."  I know wonderful things are in store for you and your family.  :)

God bless you!

Phil

http://recrum.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

wow great entry welcome back hope you continue to write some more its great therpy and great healing to write,