Well last year it was a year that was very depressing because all I wanted was to be home with my Husband and Kids for the Christmas Holidays, but this year it's alittle different. Even though I have almost 15 months sober my head still gets All Jammed up at times. I though I was going crazy last week but they say this is all normal. It is really hard to keep in the day sometimes. There are days that I just want to get in my car and run, the easy way out. The marriage didn't pan out but God did put a wonderful person in my life and he is so at peace with himself that I just look at him and say is he real. This has been a hell of a year, progress is slow and patiences is not my thing but I'm learning. I have alot to be gratiful for, and one is that I do have a second set of holidays, there are many that don't. I have to start writting again or the demons in my head are going to take the best of me. For me to journal is a way to release all that postive and negitive energy out. I did manage to complete my Reiki 1 class and to practice that does help. So until I have something else to write " I'll be back"
PS- A wet bird never flies at night. (why)
Love yeah all, Gail
1 comment:
As, I read all of your personal stories, I feel a sense of saddness, I have been there so many times before, the loss of two son's to gun violence, starting an organization to help stop violence, starting marches for peace, using my families money and positions to help others, always, staying in financial situtations. I wonder why I keep going. I cry now during the holidays, thinking about my boys my sacrafices, it has been almost eighteen years and I am still going. I wish I could paint a picture to show all of you how the love of God has really kept me, even with my mistakes, my troubles, and problems I bring upon my self, he keeps forgiving me, I just sometime can not forgive my self for giving tooo much, because when you give so much some times, you get used. I am learning, every day to continue and keep my mine strong. I will be praying for you all as for my self. Right now I need 30,000 dollars, I am trying to get donations, I have a non-profit. Money is hard to get donated now, unless you know someone with money or happen to be blessed enough to run across Denzel Washington, or Bill Gates, or someone like that who has a large sum and does charity. The world is strange, but do not let it get you down, the things, people do to you, the things, we do to our self, all we really should do is learn and in learning learn to move forward, praying and asking God to give you guideance, which we all need. For those who have trouble with you young children, try to find someone that can be a mentor to your child, ask the schools, park and recreation or a man in the neigborhood who, seems like he has his head on straight, ask for help, their is nothing wrong with that, he is your son, you has him since birth, do what you can to keep him safe, provide him with some one that will help with anger problems.
my e-mail address is lornahawkins@comcast.net This is my daughters the one I am using.
God Bless you all
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