Memories The Tools Of Joy.

I had a very busy day today, I was a guest speaker at a Rehab in Woodstown NJ. and then had to get back in Ocean City NJ to open up a meeting I must have drove 300 miles today but it was worth it. Memories the Tools of joy, When I would look back at my life I would just break down and cry. Thinking of all the things I missed with my children, Family etc. I worked at night as a bartender for 24 years I always used the excuses that we needed the money and the money was really good. What a price I paided for that thou, The truth was yes the money was good but it also was a way of getting paid for a night out. I never drank when I worked but Boy I could catch up faster then anyone and that I did. The price i had to pay for getting paid for those nights out. When i look back now I didn't have that quite time with my children before they went to sleep or that loving quite time with my husband. ( he would wait all night for me to come home) and when I finally did he was so mad but that went away with the thought of thank God she is home and she didn't kill herself or someone else tonite. He was also happy that he didn't have to wake up to the kids asking where I was could you picture if he had to tell three beautiful children with uncondtional love for there Mother that Moms not here she was drinking and Killed herself on the way home. (MY GOD) where would my children be today if that had happened. God was with me all the time I just wasn't with him. Now I look back and The memories keep that green for me, Thank God I'm able to be a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend etc. most most important a Sober Female because without that I would be NOTHING. Someday i might be able to be a wife again, but that same man that would have died for me and lied for me and loved me with ALL he had ( had conditions ) and he was beat so far down that i pray every night for his happiness and freedom from my disease. I hurt the people I love the most and even thou I haven't have a second chance on some things I now have a second chance on my life and with that I want my Memories to be a tool of joy. This past year has not been easy but I can't thank God enough for this second chance I have now sober. I made a year and now I have a year and 3 days new to start my year all over again, sober Birthdays, Hoildays, Memories.  One Day At A Time. Gail (Jennifer, Anthony, Karl Jr. KARL SR. I love you all with all my heart and soul.)