Well I haven't written in a while. I have been in the state of confusion with work and life itself. I took a leave at my hospital job about two weeks ago a job that I like but just got burnt out with all the administive bull shit thats goes on everyday. I also have a cleaning busy and when I clean the weight of the world is off my shoulders... I work HARD but I find graditude in it & I'am my own boss... I started this week to go to a meeting a day, I wasn't going because I was working or too tired, now there is no excuse. Decisions i'm torn . I have been struggling with the decision wheather to say out of work for awhile and collect what I payed in and do my cleaning, or just suck it up and jump in and do all again. Everytime I think about it anenxiety just takes over. I'm coming up on three years sober and decisions like this is still mind twisting. I work with cridally sick people and I love that part of the job helping others but all the upper management bullshit takes the cake. I see nurses smart long term nurses that will sit in there car and cry before work because they just had enough but they keep working it. I don't want to get to that point. God has something out there for me I just am at a cross road now and down know what way to turn and it is frustrating. My emotions have been sad, loney, frustrated, depressed, and fun at times. reflecting on what and where I was this time in my relationship with my other half sometimes doesn't help we realy had a rocky road,, but I stayed as supportive as i could and stayed sober though it. any suggestions please comment::: thank you Gail Jersey shoure girl..
2 comments:
Sounds to me like your burned out completely at your job and now it's getting to where the stress is getting to you. 3 years sober is something to be sooooooo proud of. Do you think your current mood could cause you to start drinking again? Life is way to short to waste it on things that make you unhappy or stressed or wishing you weren't in a certain place. You have the choice to make your life better or let this job tear you down. Even some of the nurses must cry first out in the parking lot. Nope, sounds to me like you might need a break, before you start crying or worse yet.....drinking, just to get through a day of working through this stressful job.
On the other hand will you have way to much time on your hands if you do quit or take a leave of absence? To much time and no job can also be cause for stress. Will you be able to find work once you decide to start up again?
To me your life and happiness should be top priority. Life is way to short to waste it and if you can change your life for the better then you should do it. Is there any way you can go on sick leave or take an extended leave of absense? Can you talk to someone where you work (your boss ) and explain how you've been feeling? There is an answer out there for you, but you might have to do some deep searching. Good luck in whatever you decide.
yea times can leve us wondering what step to take what is right sometimes you just need to have faith a bit look for guidance and mediate for answers,,,, yea stress can make e you sick copeing is hard but it helps way to cope with our feelings and such, problem solve situations, thats hard, in my prayers
http://journals.aol.com/chatzeekay/LifeandLessons/entries/880
Post a Comment