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Sunset at Sea Isle City  NJ   Jersey Shore

changes in the wind

Well changes are in motion. I'm removing stress or trying to find the core of it.
i took a leave from working at the hospital and just do cleaning now ( I have my own business ). Alot of stress has been removed but now moving to the home sector? I was thinking all day yesterday when I would have those many days when my first words where " I'm so sorry I will never do that again I was wrong" I said that all the time when I was drinking people where tired of hearing it. Well now I'm tried of hearing it, I live with a person that is Bi-Polar and in deniel it can be hard with the manic flare up otherwise hes a great guy. I need to seperate myself from this. I need peace I have be mentally harassed for the last time. I now know how others felt when I always said I was sorry. It is tiring. I just ask for prayers to give me the streghth and courage that I will need to maintain my ground. I didn't get sober for this I want more in my life..... Peace Happiness & Love for ALL....   Well until later Love Gail Jersey Girl....

Children operate from a place grownups wish to come back to, but have lost in the daily grind of life.

Well I haven't written in a while. I have been in the state of confusion with work and life itself. I took a leave at my hospital job about two weeks ago a job that I like but just got burnt out with all the administive bull shit thats goes on everyday. I also have a cleaning busy and when I clean the weight of the world is off my shoulders... I work HARD but I find graditude in it & I'am my own boss...  I started this week to go to a meeting a day, I wasn't going because I was working or too tired, now there is no excuse. Decisions i'm torn . I have been struggling with the decision wheather to say out of work for awhile and collect what I payed in and do my cleaning, or just suck it up and jump in and do all again. Everytime I think about it anenxiety just takes over. I'm coming up on three years sober and decisions like this is still mind twisting. I work with cridally sick people and I love that part of the job helping others but all the upper management bullshit takes the cake. I see nurses smart long term nurses that will sit in there car and cry before work because they just had enough but they keep working it. I don't want to get to that point. God has something out there for me I just am at a cross road now and down know what way to turn and it is frustrating. My emotions have been sad, loney, frustrated, depressed, and fun at times. reflecting on what and where I was this time in my relationship with my other half sometimes doesn't help we realy had a rocky road,,  but I stayed as supportive as i could and stayed sober though it. any suggestions please comment:::   thank you Gail Jersey shoure girl..