When I came in the program I was Bankrupted, Literary. Mentally, Physically, just dead. But in the years of being here God placed wonderful people in my life. For me today it's not about drinking or even fantasizing the attention and fake love of so called friends. I have true friends and that is a gift. After a while when the drink doesn't seem to be the problem, well then for me it's growing pains. Pains that go all the way to THE EYE of my core. Things that I have repressed for years, even life times it feels like. I understand now a little more on why I react the way I do. My emotions have been so crazy,,, Hurt, Love, Wonder, etc. Even thou I haven't drank in some time I still remember that gut wreaking pain of waking up the next day and saying WHY. I know why now God loves me, I may spend allot time alone right now, but I pray allot alone all day. I know what Love feels like and it is missed. God has a plan, I tell myself that everyday and I will until I totally believe it. In my heart I believe. Fear, sorrow, loss will equal light and love in the long run. The growing pains never stop, If you have One day or many years. All really have is the Here and NOW!
With Love Gail jersey shore girl.
