Well it has been hard lately to Let go and let happen whats suppose to happen in life. My son is back living with me and has 4 months clean and sober I can't help but be worried all the time. He is working now and is on his way to court this morning to face some of the wreckage of his past but is it the past or is it just going to recurre again? I stress all the time. I went and signed for a motorcycle for him so he would have transportation back and forth to work I knew in my heart that this was going to become more then this. he is on that bike 24-7. I'm scared. It has been so hard to let go and let God, even to say that is hard these days. I'm tired all the time and feel like I'm going in circles. I'm coming up on 5 years sober and it was much better the first couple of years. I go to meeting all the time but when I come home and here what Rob has to say and then Anthony's stuff it just cancels any peace that I may find. I really don't know what to do. I'm getting to old to have to worry all the time. I work hard and cannot sleep. Please keep Anthony in the prayers to clean up the road that took so much time to mess up. He is 21 and sober I just want to see a normal life for my child.
1 comment:
Glad to see your back writing in your journal. You have been missed :)
No matter how old your children get you will never stop worrying about them. My daughter is 42 and I still worry about her. She also has a drinking problem and has lost many good jobs because of it. This job she has now she really loves so she is keeping her drinking under control. But I worry worry worry over her. She lives in Chicago and we go to see her as often as we can.
I really have no good advice for you as far as the sleepless nights of laying awake worrying over your child. All I can say is your not alone in your worry. All us mothers do it. Just always show your love and support and let your child know you'll always be there for him. That's all we as mothers can do. They are at the age now where they make life what it is. Good or bad that can no longer blame anyone but themselves for the trouble they find themselves in.
Just keep yourself sober and be a good example for your child. No matter how old they get they look to us for example. Stand proud that you've come this far and are still sober. Be proud of that cause it's one of the hardest things you will ever have to deal with. Just take today and don't worry about tomorrow or what's down the road. We have control over today but none over tomorrow so why worry.
Worry when there is something to worry about. Easier said than done, but really try and make today special and enjoy it cause you'll never get the chance to repeat it. My best to you and stay strong don't ever let the bottle control you again.
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