My Daughter and Future Son & Law Great couple...

These two are a match from heaven

My youngest son::::  I love him

Busy Thoughts

Boy it is funny how things just get into your head and play on. I tried to go to sleep last night and all the thoughts of the past husband kids etc.. came into my head. I noticed when I'm coming up on a anniveresy I always think deep for some reason. I couldn't sleep after hearing so long all the bad I did when I was drunk it is really hard to remember all the good.I never missed a softball game I always had dinner on the table I had a beautiful house that was always clean to the shine but all i can remember is the bad. I've been stressing lately about finding a house and getting very discouraged everything here is 300-400-500 thousand dollars for a home. NJ is very exspensive and then I start that thinking of what I use to have and sometimes I'm really tired of hearing that all that went away because I drank in my mind at times I just Failed as a wife and everything else. My mom reminded me of all the school trips I went on with all three kids and the outstanding birthday parties and the large family dinners I use to have boy have times changed now all my kids are grown and shuffleing along with there life struggles, and my youngest son and ex-husband are living in the lap of luxery with his new rich wife.. I guess that where jealous, envey,pride,ego come in I have to let it go but sometimes the thought of all this is just overcoming. My youngest son is going to be 18 this is his Sr. year in high school and I feel like all I was good for was just to give birth. He doesn't have time for my simple life and he is just loving the luxery of his living. I call send cards and letters e-mail and he is always to busy. I was so excited yesterday when I saw on my cell phone message from karl jr. here it was a message of expiration, The message I sent him a month ago he never opened and it is not just torward me his sister and brother he doesn't even call. My ex- husband has turned into someone I don't even know ( better then everyone ) he was never like that and now my son is just like him. My son told me three years ago Mom don't fight over me let me stay with Dad because he needs me and your the stronger one. lol if he only know. strong yes but I do have feeling more today then I ever did. This is why I like to journal I can get all this stuff out....  Well until later Love and Blessings to all Love Gail the jersey shore girl.

By the grace of God

Well today is a sunny day looks like a nice one, I feel pretty good I was re-baptist on Wed it was great we went down to the ocean and did the whole body dunking what a feeling. My pastor and friends at church where there.
Some people don't understand why I did that but all I have to say is I'm now old enough to make my own choices at 6 weeks old I wasn't. I'm coming up on three years soberity on the 1st. of Oct...  I have a whole new like so why not start everything off new.  Right now I'm just taking it day to day that took me some time to do that. I still have to schedule my business cleaning appointments which puts me a week or so ahead but I write it down and worry about it when it comes, I just Let go and Let God do the work now I'm too tired what a relief to know I can do that.. Well until later Bless all of you and have a great day.. Love Gail the jersey shore girl..

In Gods Eyes We Are Seen..

Today's thought is:

Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied.
--Pearl S. Buck
We make mistakes because we are human, we are imperfect, we are frequently out of touch with the rhythms of the moment. When our minds are one place, either still trapped by the past or in limbo due to fear of the future, we fail to revere the experience of the present. And only when we salute completely the moment do we respond accurately to its meaning.
Seldom is a mistake as important as we allow it to be. Always we can rechart our steps; never is a task completed without some modifications along the way. Perhaps we'd do well to consider all mistakes as simply modifications in the original plans. Corrections triggered by mistakes may well be responsible for better outcomes. In fact, mistakes may be part of the process necessary to keep our spiritual program focused. Their role in our lives may be of greater significance than we'd ever imagined. However, we shouldn't dwell on the mistake but, rather, on the remedy.

Today I'll have to modify my steps, probably a few times. And that's to be expected.