Well it;s been awhile sense I've posted. Again so much has changed. On Oct. 1st I celebrated 9 years without a drink :amazing". I we are now getting ready doe Hurricane Sandy. NJ shore possible hit.
God Grant Me The Serenity to be stuck in for a couple of days. My Daughter and I leave for a cruise next Sat. Boy she really timed that one Great. Allot has changed in my lfe but at the same time still feels the same, if that makes any sense. I'm hoping to Journal when I go away next Week, My Mom said a couple of years ago, " When both my daughter are 50 we will all go on a cruise together" My Sister and I are Gemini Twins "same age for about three weeks out of the year". I turned 50 in June she will be 50 May 22 2013. But anyway. My Mom passed away " It was fast and I just can't put words to it". It was a year April 2012 we buried her. Well in June on my Birthday my Daughter came over she cooked Dinner, and also Surpized me with a cruise and set it all up My two sisiter's and my Daughter all leave next Sat the 3rd.. Amazing. Good things are happening someone reminded me tonite. To just get out of the way and let it happen.
Great Advice, Till Later South Jersey Shore Girl. Galewinds
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
New Season:
Well again I haven't wrote in so long. So much going on. It has been a year sense my Mom has passed and what a year. It still feels like groundhog day. lol The over and over bit. My Granddaughter will be 3 in Aug. she is amazing. My Son her father will be 25 in May, he is in Rehab right now. He just can't get it ,,, Drugs .. This is the first time he has stayed and wanted the program Pray he will have some kind of Spiritual change this time. He is going to Die, It was getting close this time. My Ex-Husband which still remains a Friend of mine is going thought his Battle again with Health issues.. I pray for so many people lol.. I have to go to bed a half hour early lol...
I will be 50 in June and for the first time I can say I feel it. This has been a hard winter and anyone who lives in a resort area knows you work your ass off in The Summer to make it though the Winter. Spring has sprung time to catch up. I cook at a restaurant PT on the off season, soon it will be coming to a end. I get busy soon. I'm trying to promise myself that this Summer no matter how busy I get "I MUST MAKE IT TO THE BEACH" :}}}.
Truely Yours, Jersey Shore Girl- Gail
I will be 50 in June and for the first time I can say I feel it. This has been a hard winter and anyone who lives in a resort area knows you work your ass off in The Summer to make it though the Winter. Spring has sprung time to catch up. I cook at a restaurant PT on the off season, soon it will be coming to a end. I get busy soon. I'm trying to promise myself that this Summer no matter how busy I get "I MUST MAKE IT TO THE BEACH" :}}}.
Truely Yours, Jersey Shore Girl- Gail
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
What Now!!!!!!
Looking back on 2011, man what a year. So many changes and hurtful sad times. I lost my Mom this past year and opened a whole new area of emotions that I really don't know how to deal with. Relationships should that even be in my future??????? I'm in a relationship now it started off with Joy Love and confusion but it is turning into just a repeat of my own doing. I just may be alone???? I have no friends to hang with or even talk to these days, I don't know when the last time I was truly happy with all in my life. I can't explain others stuff but I know when it affects my emotions then what??? I don't know how I managed to stay sober for over eight years it's amazing, I just want to be happy,,,, on the same page with that special someone. I feel out of link.. I pray for other people maybe I should start praying for myself. Looking back into this journal that is over 8 years old "Man " when is life going to be happy again????
I feel sick, tired, and out of air!!!!!! Please Please Please make 2012 the year for healing or growth that's all I pray for.
Until Later,,, Jersey Shore Girl.. Love yeah.
I feel sick, tired, and out of air!!!!!! Please Please Please make 2012 the year for healing or growth that's all I pray for.
Until Later,,, Jersey Shore Girl.. Love yeah.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Changes (Forever or Not)
I don't know what is going on with me. I have a flood feelings and emotions but don't know how to get a handle on them. Life is trying yes "BUT" why is it so hard? I feel for so many people but have a hard time feeling for myself. I try it is exhausting, I'll have plans wonderful fantasies of how I want my day to be, or end up and in my mind I try so hard to relax and let go that I'm exhausted. Memories of caring for my Mom haunts me at time and I think my way thur it. One of the blessing I have is I don't want to drink. I have worked alone, stayed alone, and find myself just being so peaceful but lost at the same time. ( Does that make sense?) I pray for God to help me identify myself . I have Love, Trust, Respect in my life I just want to be able to return those feelings, the way I dream of in my head. I'm I going crazy or is this just another process of loss?
Opinions Welcomed.....
Till Later with Love, Light & Joy, Jersey Shore Girl.....
Opinions Welcomed.....
Till Later with Love, Light & Joy, Jersey Shore Girl.....
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
2011 "The End of the Beginning"
It has been along time sense I written. So much has changed in my life. Amazing I'm still Sober but yes,,,,,,,,,,, I'm blessed to have stayed sober for 7 1/2 years now.
In the course of this year, from my last post, I'm still in a relationship with a wonderful caring person. Last Summer my Mom was getting checked because she felt so worn down she was a RN retired but still worked traveling nurse and Loved it. End of last Summer she found out that she had Cancer that was located in the liver but it was a form of Bladder Cancer. She started her treatments and it worked great for three months. Then she went on another she just would hold her head up even when she felt like shit. I come from a family that my Two sisters that live next to Mom are teachers, They went back to school and Mom got sicker. I blocked off Mondays for work because that was my Moms Chemo days.... Then Mondays became Mon, Wed, Fri... then hospital then so on. I became my Moms care taker.... She trusted me for strength, Honesty, She was amazing.......... she was only 67 . My Mom is a big part of my recovery.. Moms never give up. It was a Very bad winter and I didn't work with my business we lost allot but gained at the same time. I had my car repoed, bills backed up to the extreme but Bruce sold his personal stuff and we did what we had to do. I couldn't have done it alone. My son, daughter in law and granddaughter still live at her grandmothers God bless her. Losing my last parent has such a weird feeling like "orphaned" fear. Today is 30 days my Mom has been passed, She passed away March 26th. She found out on March 17th there was nothing else to do. I asked her, Do you want to go Home? She said yes, the next day the room was ready, hospice "they are a savior" my Mom died 8 days later,, first three days home she was still communicating, and then just settling. The 12 hours before she died the nurse and I where cleaning My Mom up and thank God for the Hospital experience I have from working at SMH I was able to help. When we turned my Mom her eyes where as yellow as a egg,,,, When she passed she opened her eyes and smiled. Her eyes where as clear as clear could be. Thats God!!!!!! I miss her so much.. If I had to do it all over again . I would be honored. I lost but gained so much more. God please give my Mom a kiss for me, TU
Till later, gailwindsnj1 the jersey shore girl
Today if I'm nothing else I'm grateful for each breath, sight and heart beat I get to feel and see.
In the course of this year, from my last post, I'm still in a relationship with a wonderful caring person. Last Summer my Mom was getting checked because she felt so worn down she was a RN retired but still worked traveling nurse and Loved it. End of last Summer she found out that she had Cancer that was located in the liver but it was a form of Bladder Cancer. She started her treatments and it worked great for three months. Then she went on another she just would hold her head up even when she felt like shit. I come from a family that my Two sisters that live next to Mom are teachers, They went back to school and Mom got sicker. I blocked off Mondays for work because that was my Moms Chemo days.... Then Mondays became Mon, Wed, Fri... then hospital then so on. I became my Moms care taker.... She trusted me for strength, Honesty, She was amazing.......... she was only 67 . My Mom is a big part of my recovery.. Moms never give up. It was a Very bad winter and I didn't work with my business we lost allot but gained at the same time. I had my car repoed, bills backed up to the extreme but Bruce sold his personal stuff and we did what we had to do. I couldn't have done it alone. My son, daughter in law and granddaughter still live at her grandmothers God bless her. Losing my last parent has such a weird feeling like "orphaned" fear. Today is 30 days my Mom has been passed, She passed away March 26th. She found out on March 17th there was nothing else to do. I asked her, Do you want to go Home? She said yes, the next day the room was ready, hospice "they are a savior" my Mom died 8 days later,, first three days home she was still communicating, and then just settling. The 12 hours before she died the nurse and I where cleaning My Mom up and thank God for the Hospital experience I have from working at SMH I was able to help. When we turned my Mom her eyes where as yellow as a egg,,,, When she passed she opened her eyes and smiled. Her eyes where as clear as clear could be. Thats God!!!!!! I miss her so much.. If I had to do it all over again . I would be honored. I lost but gained so much more. God please give my Mom a kiss for me, TU
Till later, gailwindsnj1 the jersey shore girl
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