Anthony and Angelina 1st. Halloween

WaterFall

It is so funny I want to write and the only word that came to mind for a title was WATERFALL. It is this time of year again, winter is coming and the wind and cold I hate it, BUT I LOVE WHERE I'M AT!!!!. Allot of changes this Oct-Nov... Rob moved out again when the kids my Son Anthony, Brittany, and My granddaughter moved in. This year is different, I found myself saying six years sober " Why I'm I stilling doing the same thing in areas of my life and expect a different result. I think finally for once in my life I really need to be alone and sort Thur all my emotions. Fear, Jealous, Love and dislike. What a combo. I'm trying to take it piece for piece. I haven't drank, I have a beautiful granddaughter and we have a system " Pray for Anthony to get transportation so he can go back to work in NY" They really deserve there own place to experience the full joy of a family and the WORK of it. :} When it comes to my relationship with Rob it hurts, but at the same time I just want to choke him. Every time the relationship with us goes South it comes back and the same result. It wears you thin. Working it out separately and with a professional we may make it but for now I don't really trust what to do so I'm doing nothing. Trust and respect what happened to that. How do you get it back. I have to let GO and let god. sometimes easier said then done. Huggs and prayers Gail the south jersey COLD girl. :}

Anelina 12 Hours old.

Boy It's been awhile.

So much has changed sense my last post. It has been to long. I just celebrated Six years of sobriety :}. Oct. 1st. This year so far has been the most changing of them all. I made it Thur allot in this past time. After all these years I shared that Fear has me at times. My relationship with Rob seems to have burnt me out every time he has another episode of craziness it took more of me. I had enough. Well on a better note I became a grandmother for the first time Aug 28th. 2009 She is beautiful. Her name is Angelina Maria Berenato. I never felt a feeling like I did when I first looked into her eyes and she did the same. Instant connection. Rob moved our about 2 weeks ago and I have my Son, Brittiany, and grand daughter here. You know it's not that bad. I'm feared up about money sounds stupid I know but I work so hard and then in the winter it dies. Everyone Tell's me don't worry you will be OK. I've been honestly hitting my knee's at night and praying, That is something I didn't do on a regular basic before. I really have to let someone that has all power to take control, God...
This is a time in my life I think I'm gonna have to learn to trust. God and the Rooms are the only thing that keeps me sober. I must Let go and Let God.
One one gate closes another will open sometimes easier said then done to believe that. But my emotional Sobriety has too.

Peace

Gifts:::::::::::::::::::

I have such a peace here, I moved and I found Peace.
Sitting here listening to the sea gulls the water it is just great. I've come along way in six years, I was the number one person who thought " I will never experience what I am now".... I was wrong..

Gail jersey shore girl..

I'm home. I finally moved only six mins. South. Hahaa.

This is what it is all about. The rewards of belief and honest hard work. I never thought in my wildest dreams that one day I would be able to enjoy Gods gifts right in my back yard. It was almost six years ago when I was near death from drinking I didn't think so at the time "Of course I thought life was a long game with no winner". This is one of the rewards they preach about but I thought I would never get. never get. hahaa.. In Gods time, not mine. Boy that was proven. I would have never thought this six years ago.When all I wanted was to stay as far away from people as I could.I still love solitude but it is a at home finally in my life feeling. I just wanted to share that even thou we can't seem to see that light at the end of that LONG tunnel sometimes. But with Hope, Love, Peace and a power greater then ourselves on our side "Always" there is a flicker of light growing.

With Peace & Love " the jersey shore girl'
Gail

One Big Circle

Hello, I haven't written in a while but glad to have the time too do it now.. Thank God!!
Lately I have had so many changes going on and just trying to do everything in a organized order That is crazy.. Hahaha.. I'm moving and I know I'm going to Love the location it is PEACE...
I really never realized how organization, change, and looking forward for something would make you think, but for me I has made me see just how far I've came and also how many fears I still have. They say the first Five years ( you get your marbles ) and the next five you (organize them) and the next Five you enjoy them and Thank God (Honestly). I know when I was drinking I hurt allot of people!!! maybe not physically but mentally!
I thought I knew by now how deep other peoples feeling are. The best amends I can do today is stay sober, and work on the emotional part. I have people in my life today that has seen my full blown fits from drinking and you know what they still love me today. There's people I know that just don't understand and forgive me but still blame themselves... If they could only trust fully again today to believe that it wasn't them it was a very sick me and by me being sick with alcohol I made everyone in my path sick!!
So I just Thank God all day when I think of it. And I TRY to be grateful because I really should be..

I'll write more later when I have more time..
God Bless & Good Health
love Gail The Jersey Shore girl

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Gail

2009 Here we go!!!

I haven't written in a while.. Well 2009 is off and going!! This is going to be the year of challenages. Along with that comes fear. So many people are out of work right now and things are getting tuff, but i still have to remain grateful for what I have today. This time of year I have to remember that and not just in the summmer (Which I miss sooooooo much). It would be so easy just to say heck with it, but I came to far to quit now. Drinking isn't my problem today, Living Sober minded can be hahahaa.. I'm responsible today and that makes so much of a difference in my life and it took time to get it, so I'm looking forward to the best this year can bring.