Step One

It's always nice to be reminded that I'm powerless over situations.  As time goes by it is easier to be alone. Rob is still in Bal. MA and things don't look like it's going to work out. I have to remember that I'm powerless not just over drinking but over what God has in store for me. It sounds allot easier then it is. I want the life with a loving man 2.2 animals and peace and serenity, But peace and serenity and  my animals I have now just might be enough for me. Relationships if I could do it all over again, i would have not gotten into one for a few years.  Even though  my other half is in the program I now understand when they say some are sicker then others. I see now how a unsettled or uncleaned and dealt with past can destroy the future. i gave my all into my relationship with Rob but all thous old haunts of his just can powering at me and I THOUGHT I could fix it ,( Fix everything) hahaha that's what we want to do. But Step One " I'm powerless over alcohol & other people places & things. God put this alone time in my life for me to learn. My learning processes aren't always Kind & gentle , it seems to hurt emotionally then i grow. Pain is the touch tone of growth i do believe that now. " It took me a few years" lessons are learned on a daily basic and my life is growing from it. It is lonely, depressing & quiet but I'm learning now what could be healthy for me and what is not. It is as hard as the lesson of saying NO, which i still have to work at.  Well just for today I'm going onward and being strong and tomorrow  I'll TRY to worry about that when it get here.  Thank you for letting me spill my heart  & I pray it will help someone  that is going thur the same or about too. Time means Time. I never gave myself enough of it.
Taking it Day 2 Day " One Day At A Time"!!!

Love you all: The jersey shore girl Gail