Sorry i haven't written in a while. So many changes like all my dreams are fading away some faster then others.My son moved out about a month ago he came back to stay with Rob & I and just did nothing so now my ex-husband stepped up to the plate and is helping and Anthony seems to be doing better I still can't believe a word he says but I try. Then Rob moved out and the wedding is off he said our relationship is toxic and he can't stand my son well I'm a mother and my kids are my kids. He now lives 50 miles away and I can't believe anything he says anymore either. Rob seems to have had a bottom in soberity 10 years sober 52 years old and has 50 dollars in the bank and possibly no job sense he moved his life has taken a turn. We had a nice night last Sat.. trying to make time to fix things but come monday i had hurt my back L5 & S1 are compressed and I have allot of pain. I started to talk to Rob just saying if he doesn't live here anymore then he cannot just show up anytime he wants too. Well I snapped and thur the rest of his stuff out and said some mean things. Things that where bottled up for so long. He ammitted he has mentally abused me for three years and he has to work on that and that he loves me. But like tonite he came down to help me because i really coulodn't do anything and it seemed like he helped got money left me a check and left and went home when I was sleeping. I feel used. Boy it is funny how time changes 6 months ago I was putting the final touches on our wedding and now I'm fighting to get some of the 5000 dollars i put out for it. I said i would never give my heart to anyone after my husband and now in soberity i did and look what happened. I've had a rough time this week I have so much pain with this back and my left leg that I just want it to go away. It is real hard sometimes to stay sober when you hurt so bad physically & emotionally but I am. I have four years sober and what a adventure, I pray Please God Put Some Peace in my life or just take me. I'm so tired .. I know this will pass but the growing pains are increidable. Please just say a pray for me to get thur all this stuff.
I'm busy this time of year with my business and this is the worst time to get hurt.
I'm still going to persue my job back at a hospital or center sometime I just need a kick in the ass but not right now i have to get thur all this stuff first and clear my head some. I really miss that love feeling and dreams i had for the future. Well until later Love you all:
Love Gail ( the jersy shore girl )
