My silent prayer

Dear God,
Please help me except everyday as it is, and no more.
Please help me not to read things into other peoples statements.
Please help me for a lifetime to free myself from bondage of self. Please God help me understand and except things as they are dealt to me. Please help me keep my eyes open to everything you put in my path via' awake or asleep. Thank you for tomorrow in advance for just One  Day At A Time I seek.  Please hold me accountable for my actions today for when i was  in my addiction I wasn't accountable for nothing. Please don't ever let me forget the days of gloom and be forever grateful  for the life I have today. Please comfort the people out there still suffering in there addiction and let us in recovery forever work for you.
Thank you for my Family, Children and love I have in my life today. And last but not least Thank you for Oct. 1st. 2003 when you gave me a second chance on life. I'm now 4 years clean and sober.. Thank you!!!!!

Love you all: South Jersey Girl Gail
P.S Thank you for my wonderful trip to Ohio To see my friend of 20 years ( Now we are both sober ) what a blessing. I love it out there..  Goodnite

Tags: Baby Ospreys growing up.

Tags: Full Moon Cape May NJ

Summer is going to Fast.

Tags: Stone harbor NJ

Step One

It's always nice to be reminded that I'm powerless over situations.  As time goes by it is easier to be alone. Rob is still in Bal. MA and things don't look like it's going to work out. I have to remember that I'm powerless not just over drinking but over what God has in store for me. It sounds allot easier then it is. I want the life with a loving man 2.2 animals and peace and serenity, But peace and serenity and  my animals I have now just might be enough for me. Relationships if I could do it all over again, i would have not gotten into one for a few years.  Even though  my other half is in the program I now understand when they say some are sicker then others. I see now how a unsettled or uncleaned and dealt with past can destroy the future. i gave my all into my relationship with Rob but all thous old haunts of his just can powering at me and I THOUGHT I could fix it ,( Fix everything) hahaha that's what we want to do. But Step One " I'm powerless over alcohol & other people places & things. God put this alone time in my life for me to learn. My learning processes aren't always Kind & gentle , it seems to hurt emotionally then i grow. Pain is the touch tone of growth i do believe that now. " It took me a few years" lessons are learned on a daily basic and my life is growing from it. It is lonely, depressing & quiet but I'm learning now what could be healthy for me and what is not. It is as hard as the lesson of saying NO, which i still have to work at.  Well just for today I'm going onward and being strong and tomorrow  I'll TRY to worry about that when it get here.  Thank you for letting me spill my heart  & I pray it will help someone  that is going thur the same or about too. Time means Time. I never gave myself enough of it.
Taking it Day 2 Day " One Day At A Time"!!!

Love you all: The jersey shore girl Gail

So many changes

Sorry i haven't written in a while. So many changes like all my dreams are fading away some faster then others.My son moved out about a month ago he came back to stay with Rob & I and just did nothing so now my ex-husband stepped up to the plate and is helping and Anthony seems to be doing better I still can't believe a word he says but I try. Then Rob moved out and the wedding is off he said our relationship is toxic and he can't stand my son well I'm a mother and my kids are my kids. He now lives 50 miles away and I can't believe anything he says anymore either. Rob seems to have had a bottom in soberity 10 years sober 52 years old and has 50 dollars in the bank and possibly no job sense he moved his life has taken a turn. We had a nice night last Sat.. trying to make time to fix things but come monday i had hurt my back L5 & S1 are compressed and I have allot of pain. I started to talk to Rob just saying if he doesn't live here anymore then he cannot just show up anytime he wants too. Well I snapped and thur the rest of his stuff out and said some mean things. Things that where bottled up for so long. He ammitted he has mentally abused me for three years and he has to work on that and that he loves me. But like tonite he came down to help me because i really coulodn't do anything and it seemed like he helped got money left me a check and left and went home when I was sleeping. I feel used. Boy it is funny how time changes 6 months ago I was putting the final touches on our wedding and now I'm fighting to get some of the 5000 dollars i put out for it. I said i would never give my heart to anyone after my husband and now in soberity i did and look what happened. I've had a rough time this week I have so much pain with this back and my left leg that I just want it to go away. It is real hard sometimes to stay sober when you hurt so bad physically & emotionally but I am. I have four years sober and what a adventure, I pray Please God Put Some Peace in my life or just take me. I'm so tired ..  I know this will pass but the growing pains are increidable. Please just say a pray for me to get thur all this stuff.

I'm busy this time of year with my business and this is the worst time to get hurt.

I'm still going to persue my job back at a hospital or center sometime I just need a kick in the ass but not right now i have to get thur all this stuff first and clear my head some. I really miss that love feeling and dreams i had for the future. Well until later Love you all:

Love Gail ( the jersy shore girl )